Tips For Guys
Hi to all you guys that visit the club as guys, I want you to know that you are VERY welcome on your own or with friends. If you are looking to network and enjoy social intercourse you are going to have a good time. But firstly I have to tell you that we do not allow sexual activity in the club. Kissing and cuddling like any nightclub is OK, but no further in the club. CLICK HERE for local hotels. We aim to ensure that everyone is comfortable to visit WayOut, including those that are not looking for sex and those that might be frightened to be in that kind of environment, including female partners of cross-dressers and YOU.
On this page I have a number of tips and articles to help you understand your relationship with the club
- First my understanding of why you guys enjoy the club … scroll down for more
- Next is an article ‘Why so many men are fascinated by cross-dressers’ by Stephen Albrow for Forum magazine … scroll down for more
- Finally Miss Farrah offers tips to you to get the most out of your visit … scroll down for more
But before you go scrolling here is what ‘C’ wrote about his first experience. He first wrote to me …
- Dear Vicky, I am considering coming to the club for the first time alone this weekend. Can you tell me roughly how much a taxi would cost back to Tooting at closing time?
- Hi Vicky Lee, I got back for £30 but the taxi driver said I was a very lucky boy for getting so far on £30! Just wanted to say I was nervous about coming, but so glad I did! I really had a brilliant time, it exceeded all my expectations… and well, the girls… just fantastic. I was made to feel so welcome, but got tagged the minute I walked through the doors by one bunch and they didn’t let me go all night! I’ll definitely be coming again soon, possibly again this saturday and will look to do a bit more mingling! Thanks a bunch ‘C’ xx
So guys have a good read of this page I know it will help you see how to make the best of your visits to the club xxx Vicky Lee
WayOut is a great place to network and meet T-Girls – we all like to chat with a sociable guy. Especially if you make us laugh. There are other clubs “to go on to” that do allow sex and there are plenty of hotels in the area. But if you do go too far, are annoying, or too “touchy” you too may be asked to leave. We encourage all of our guests to “self police” the club and to inform hosts and security if a “guy guest” is annoying, rude or wont take no for an answer or is just too “touchy”. Likewise you should not have to put up with T-Girls being too pushy, pushing for free drinks, or blatantly, rudely and annoyingly offering sex for money. Please let us know if this is happening to you. In all cases we may ask those that are “annoying” to leave and may ban them from the club.
Many people that visit The WayOut Club are surprised at the number of guys dressed as guys at the club. But that’s the way we always wanted the club to be. We believe that even the most hetro of trannies can’t help but be thrilled by an admiring glance from a respectful, nice looking, man. After all nothing else says “you got it right – you pass” like a polite smile or compliment from an admirer. Some of our favourite straight trannies and partners struggle with the concept of guys in the club.
It would be totally wrong to think that a guy at The WayOut Club must be gay – after all what self respecting gay guy fancies a ‘girl’ (even if she has got a cock). Of course we love to see gay guys at the club and many of us have gay friends who love the club. It used to be easy to spot our gay friends – cos they were better dressed. It would be true to say that in early years of the club you guys were often socialy inept, never took off their overcoat and lets face it, some of you were not that attractive.
However since those days you have become more and more confident and socialy skilled and yes younger, better dressed and now many of you are very fanciable and have become good friends to many of us. I find that you guys are also getting to be much more comfortable with your interest in us “girls with a bit extra”. So many of you have been to places like Thailand. I think also its now not SO taboo for you to talk (at least joke) about Lady Boys with your mates. But (as I remind our many of our customers) you don’t have to be looking for a liaison with a lady boy to be a guy at The WayOut Club …
- Some guys may be trannies who for one reason or another do not feel right about dressing in public (though next week they just might).
- Some guys maybe supportive family or friends.
- Some guys maybe a partner / boyfriend of a tranny. This is always great to find. We have many T-girls who have found long term partners at the club. The club has become a family for many.
- Some guys may be a first time or regular “explorers” looking to explore the edges of society and to understand the scene for all sorts of reasons, from intellectual to creative.
- Some guys just love the free and relaxed atmosphere created by the diversity that the club enjoys.
- Some guys are gay and are their because they have freinds at the club and next week they may be in drag for a bit of the lime light and maybe to “pull a straight guy”.
Why so many men are fascinated by cross-dressers by Stephen Albrow
- Meet here two “admirers” through an interview for an article in Forum Magazine vol 42 no 1 … The following is explicit and is meant only for those 18 years and over.
By Stephen Albrow
Every Saturday at the UK’s top transgender club The WayOut Club is a chance for the capital’s cross-dressers to party in a caring, tolerant environment, and it’s also a chance for their male admirers to feast their eyes on a bevy of T-girls. Much has been written about the men who like to switch their suits for designer frocks, but little is known about those who worship them. Just what is it that makes them hunger for these extra-special ladies? It seems wrong to be heading to a tranny night to speak to the men who are not in dresses. It’s the guys in the wigs and fancy frocks who deserve to be the centre of attention, but I’m here for the men in trousers. The ones with beards! The ones wearing ties! The ones who haven’t even shaved their legs!
I arrive to find the party already in full swing. Excited groups of dolled-up divas dance around their handbags, the sequins on their outfits twinkling in the disco lights. Their skirts are short and their heels are high, but already my attention is wandering to the middle-aged man standing watching at the bar, In his mid- to late forties and nursing a pint, the man taps his toes in time with the music. He, too, has made an effort getting dressed tonight – his hair’s slicked back and he’s put on a suit. He’s one of several single men in the building – John and Martin – find time to talk to me. John is the man I saw standing at the bar. Married with two children, he’s been attracted to trannies all his adult life.
Forum: When did the fascination with T-girls start for you?
- John: Actually, that’s quite difficult to answer. I think it’s probably been inside me since puberty, but it wasn’t until I visited Thailand a few years back that I really did anything about it, Having said that, I do have memories of watching a documentary about a guy who had a sex change, I think I was in my teens at the time, and I remember being transfixed by it. There was something very appealing about watching a man transforming himself into a woman. It seemed strange and subversive, but sexy, too!
Forum: But you didn’t explore it further at the time?
- John: Well, in those days it wasn’t really possible to. I grew up in sleepy Norfolk, and this was way before the Internet, so even if I’d wanted to meet a transvestite, I really wouldn’t have known where to look. Occasionally I’d see a female impersonator on the telly, which would remind me that the urge was still there, but it all just seemed like an impossible fantasy. And the other important thing to consider is that I’ve always been attracted to real women, too. So I started dating and then met my wife, which put the tranny thing even further to the back of my mind.
Forum: So, what made it resurface?
- John: Ten years ago I got a job in London, which meant commuting back and forth from Norwich each day. But sometimes, when work was busy, I’d book a hotel room and stay in London, and that gave me a chance to explore some of London’s seedier locations. I remember discovering all the Soho sex shops, then going into one and finding about ten shelves dedicated to tranny magazines. Up till then, I’d had no idea such magazines existed. It had never crossed my mind that there might be enough trannies or admirers to make it worth someone’s while to publish a magazine on the subject. I’d always thought I was a freak of nature. Sadly, most of these magazines aren’t published any more. I used to read Female Mimics Intemational, which was always full of glamorous drag queens, then the same people published Sissy Expose, which I remember being a slightly dirtier version. Then there was Ladylike, which always featured some very nice amateur pictures. Some of the amateurs were absolutely gorgeous. And they were always dressed in the sexiest clothes – always stockings, not tights, and always very high heels!
Forum: Did those magazines encourage you to visit any London clubs?
- John: No, because I was terrified of news getting back to my wife. It felt too close to home, so it wasn’t until I went on a business trip to Thailand that I plucked up the courage to visit a tranny club. Initially, I went with a couple of colleagues. You know, it was a lads’ night out at an exotic burlesque show, but my colleagues rather spoiled it for me. Even though the dancers were very beautiful and convincing, my mates kept going on about how awful it must be when you take one home, your hand creeps up her dress and – ugh – you find a dick and balls. To them, it was all a bit of a freak show, so I went back alone a few nights later.
Forum: Was it better on your own?
- John: Much, much better. I’d probably even go so far as to call it a life-changing experience. When I went with my colleagues, we just watched the show, but this time a ladyboy approached me at the bar, and I can’t explain how excited I was just talking to one of these amazing creatures. She was wearing virtually nothing at all – just a tiny skirt and a bra top – and she had lovely brown eyes and a gorgeous smile. I’ve never paid for sex in my life, but I was tempted to break the rule that night. She kept pressing against me. She let me stroke her thigh. I got such a hard-on just from doing that.
Forum: So, did you break the rule?
- John: The first time, no, because I started thinking of my wife and kids. And that might have been the end of it if my firm hadn’t sent me back out there twice a month for six months running. Of course, I visited the clubs every time I went, and those ladyboys are very persistent! It’s not like here where you have to chat up a girl for hours, buy her drinks, etc. Over there, they just pounce on you, ’cause they want to suck you off for money. Eventually I was too weak-willed to resist.
Forum: What was that first experience like?
- John: Actually, it was amazing! It was everything I’d hoped it would be. We went back to my hotel room where she took off her dress and did a dance for me in her underwear – black stockings and suspenders and a black bra and knickers. Lots of things were going through my mind as she danced. I’d never seen a pair of fake breasts on a woman before, let alone on someone who used to be a guy, so it was incredibly horny seeing her cleavage. And I couldn’t believe how tiny her knickers were, It was amazing to think there was a dick in there somewhere, but there definitely was because I saw it later. The other thing that really turned me on was you could still just tell she was once a male. She wasn’t very tall and she’d obviously been on hormones, but there was still a hint of man about her. This was the type of thing my colleagues were pointing out and laughing at when we visited the club together, but that’s what I like most about T-girls. I love the way they blur the genders. It all comes back to that subversive thing and that sense of them being extra-special creatures.
Forum: Did you sleep with many ladyboys?
- John: Yeah, quite a few. I made about 15 trips to Thailand in total and I always went to tranny venues, although not always to pick up a ladyboy. Sometimes I’d just sit and enjoy the show. I like watching drag acts and ladyboy pole dancers. It doesn’t have to include sex to make me happy, just so long as I get to see men behaving like women in some form or other.
Forum: Did you miss it when the trips ended?
- John: That’s a massive understatement. I know this will sound terrible, but the great thing about the Thailand trips was there was never any danger of my wife finding out. By this stage the Internet was up and running, so I was well aware of similar venues in London, but I was still very nervous about misbehaving so close to home. So I was a very good boy for a little while, except for visiting tranny websites. But the virtual world has never suited me. I was desperate to meet some real T-girls again.
Forum: Is that when you started visiting UK venues?
- John: Yes, I made the excuse of having to work nights, then went to The WayOut Club. And I got an ever bigger buzz visiting UK venues, because beneath the make-up and sexy clothes were the types of guys I could have been walking past in the streets each day. The Thai ladyboys have always had an extra element of exoticism about them – an almost unreal level of femininity – but the UK girls seem much more real. I just love the thought that the blonde over there in the silver dress and fishnets might be sitting behind the counter of a bank in a suit and tie tomorrow morning. Or the tall girl in the red blouse and black mini might be a motor mechanic – and that’s what she really likes to wear when her overalls come off.
Forum: Have you ever felt the urge to crossdress?
- John: No, 1 haven’t, but I’ve spoken to quite a few male admirers at events like this, and several admit to being former crossdressers. I think they try it for a while, but either find it too much hassle or it doesn’t fit in with their day-to-day life. Make no mistake, these girls here tonight have made a massive effort to look that good. That’s one reason why I appreciate them so much. Not enough women seem to care about their appearance these days – they only ever bung on a pair of jeans. But these girls always wear something really sexy – a tight top and short skirt, or a skimpy dress. And they’ll all be wearing sexy undies, as well. Men love stockings and suspenders. Trannies love them, too!
Forum: Do you think that’s because trannies still think like men?
- John: I think there’s some truth in that, but I think it’s more to do with repression. Most trannies probably only get to dress up once or twice a week, so when the moment ar rives, they really throw themselves into it. Some of them might have fought the urge for years – just like I fought my urges – so it’s almost like they’re making up for lost time. It’s not like with real girls, who dress sexy when they’re young and then gradually grow out of it. My wife hasn’t worn suspenders for years – she’d find it too much hassle now – but you can bet all these T-girls look immaculate underneath.
Forum: So, if your wife went back to wearing suspenders, would you still chase after trannies?
- John: Of course I would, because T-girls are special. This might sound strange, but I feel sure I’d never have cheated on my wife with another real girl, but trannies are a different breed altogether I’m not really sure what it is about them, but they offer something more than a real girl does. And it’s not just about them making more of an effort with their lingerie. And it’s not because I’m a closet gay, although I have seen it suggested that going with trannies might be a stepping-stone to homosexuality. The theory goes that men like me are really just desperate for cock, but we go with cross-dressers because that way we can convince ourselves we’re not really gay. But it doesn’t make sense. What I’m doing is considered no less pervy – in fact, probably it’s considered much more pervy – so why would I want to kid myself that I was attracted to trannies instead of men? The truth is I just fancy transvestites, full stop!
It’s the nature of the society we live people have to be given labels. And who cannot be labelled in a simple way will not only find themselves wrongly categorised but also, by being wrongly categorised, is forever doomed to be misunderstood. Everyone knows what gay and straight means, just as everyone knows what a transvestite is, but there is no label for a man who is attracted to transvestites. Perhaps this is the reason why it’s so much easier to dismiss them as homosexuals, rather than to acknowledge them as a group in themselves. This particular group is especially difficult to label, since its members tend to keep themselves hidden. Having spoken to two in person and several online, it seems a high percentage of these men are married, hence the importance of keeping their fetish a secret. All are quick to dismiss the idea that their admiration for trannies is a variant of homosexuality, because gay men are attracted to masculinity – and not femininity. All these men are attracted to real girls, and see trannies as females with something extra. In the porn world, that ‘something extra’ is always a euphemism for a rock-hard cock, but that’s a typical, porn world over-simplification.
I discussed this matter with Martin, the second admirer I met at The WayOut Club. A casually dressed man in his early thirties, he was keen to set the record straight.
Forum: What does the term ‘a girl with something extra’ mean to you?
- Martin: (Laughs) Well, I suppose the obvious answer is she has a ten-inch willy, but that’s not why I’m here tonight. For me, the ‘something extra’ is a sort of heightened femininity, which a lot of real women don’t seem to have any more. I’m talking about the old-style glamour of high heels, fully-fashioned stockings, long, painted fingernails and bright red lipstick. Transvestites seem to go in for all that, probably because they start out as men, so they need a good corset and plenty of make up to make themselves look so feminine and fabulous!
Forum: When did you first realise how fabulous these special women were?
- Martin: Years ago – when I was still in my teens! It wasn’t a sexual thing at first, but I remember – and you might not believe this – but I remember seeing Boy George on Top Of The Pops. All my family were sitting there watching and we just thought it was a woman singing, but my sister insisted it was really a man because she’d read about Culture Club in Smash Hits. My mum, dad and me could not believe it, then my dad started saying how disgusting it was, but all I could think about was how brilliant the illusion was and inside me if you remember, that appearance was big news at the time, so I started following all the stories about George in the newspapers. They used to call him a gender-bender, which I found a really intriguing term, then a second pop star came along – a guy called Marilyn – who was really pretty and very androgynous. Marilyn was probably my first real crush, along with the girls from Bananarama. I was totally obsessed with him. I even tried dressing up like him.
Forum: So, you were a crossdresser once?
- Martin: Well, sort of! I did nick some of my sister’s clothes and go through a short spell of dressing up. I liked wearing her underwear mostly, but it was something I grew out of pretty quickly, especially once I started getting hairy and grew too big to look convincing. Maybe if my body had developed differently, I might have carried on with it, but the urge was never really strong enough for me to want to shave off my body hair or buy my own clothes. And I’d started getting into girls, as well, and I liked being a man when I was out with girls. I’ve never had the female impulse trannies have. I was always happy in the masculine role. So I went through a spell of living a perfectly normal life. The gender-benders disappeared from the news, and you don’t see much other stuff about cross-dressing in the media, so it was just a thing in the back of my mind – something I’d sometimes think about.
Forum: But now it’s a big part of your life again?
- Martin: Yeah. I got married at 22 and then divorced at thirty, although the divorce had nothing to do with my fetish. My wife and I just grew apart, but one thing I knew after the separation was that I didn’t want to throw myself straight back into another long term relationship. There were a couple of girls at work I fancied, but I could see that getting too serious, so I thought it might be a good time to test things out on the tranny front. So I joined a TV contact website and spent ages in the chat rooms. Living in a small town like Clacton, there’s nowhere you can meet a T-girl, but the website helped me find someone.
Forum: What happened then?
- Martin: I had a really great fling with a T-girl called Lisa. Just like me, she was newly divorced, so she wasn’t really looking for any- thing too serious. I used to pop round her house a couple of times a week and she’d dress up sexy and we’d have some fun. Then we started visiting the London clubs together, but that ended when she got back with her ex-wife. So I carried on going to the clubs on my own, and now I’m having the best time of my life. The thing is I just love being around transvestites. I love the way they make such a special effort to make themselves look good, especially when you arrange a date with them and they turn up looking a million dollars. I suppose it’s a bit of a power trip, because they’re doing all that to turn you on – these guys are feminising themselves to give you pleasure. It’s like, you’re their man, so they worship you. And if you treat them like the women they really are, then they’ll do almost anything to make you happy.
Forum: So, are they better in bed than real girls?
- Martin: Not necessarily. I’ve had good and bad blow jobs from real girls and good and bad blow jobs from trannies. It all comes down to the individual. And my mind doesn’t work like that anyway. When I decide which girl to chat up, I’m not thinking how good will she be in bed, I’m just deciding which girl I fancy most. And nothing is ever guaranteed in this world. You might think all trannies are up for anal sex, what with them not having pussies, but a lot of them don’t like it, whereas I’ve dated two real girls who really did.
Forum: That’s fair enough, but what difference does the T-girl’s ‘something extra’ make?
- Martin: I’m not really sure how important it is. I don’t think I have a really strong craving for dick, but I’m not going to deny there isn’t something arousing about seeing a cock bulging out of a pair of black knickers. It proves you’re with a tranny for one thing. It’s the thing that sets them apart from normal women. But I’ve never been screwed up the arse by a tranny – never wanted to try it – and I wouldn’t say that sucking dick is in any way nicer than eating pussy. Both are great, although I suppose it’s nicer when a tranny ejaculates, because you get the massive throbbing in your mouth and the sudden surge of spunk. It’s also nice to suck on something solid, instead of just licking a clit for ages and not really knowing if the woman has come. But it’s important not to think of people just as their genitals. When I had my crush on Marilyn, I wasn’t thinking about cocks and anal sex. I was thinking about slow dancing and kissing goodnight on the doorstep, and that’s still very much the case for me. I want to do everything with a T-girl, including the simple stuff like watching a film on telly or going for a drive. It’s no different to dating a real girl – I wouldn’t just be with her for her tits and pussy, so it’s absurd to think I’d date a tranny just for her penis.
Forum: Could you ever see yourself in a long term relationship with a transvestite?
- Martin: (A nervous giggle) Well, that’s the million-dollar question. A part of me would like to marry again and have kids, which I couldn’t really do with a T-girl. Also, I’m not sure how many trannies would be willing or able to dress full-time, so I’m not really sure how practical it would be. Then there are things like introducing them to your parents and friends, or them introducing me to theirs. Cross-dressing is still a very secretive thing, which is why we come to these private venues, and probably I’m not brave enough to go against the norm.
Martin’s words give me food for thought, I believe him when he says his interest in transvestites isn’t purely sexual, so it’s a shame he feels uncomfortable with the thought of a long term relationship with a T girl. Before leaving the club, I have another word with John, to get his take on this …
Forum: If your marriage ended tomorrow, would your next long-term relationship be with another woman or a tranny?
- John: Hmm. My heart says tranny, but my head says real girl. While I feel more attracted to T-girls than real women, and while I don’t just go with T-girls for sex, I can’t really see me settling down with a tranny, although maybe I’m just not very good at imagining things like that. It’s something you just don’t see in this country, or anywhere, really, so it’s hard for me to contemplate that I could spend my life with another man who lives with me as my full time wife. Do I like the thought? Yes, I like the thought. But is society ready? I doubt it.
It’s a disappointing answer, but not an un- expected one. As long as most transvestites remain inside the closet, and until society changes, it’s unlikely that there will be many admirers who will follow their hearts and have open relationships with their T-girl lovers. But perhaps the first step for this group of men is to give themselves a label, for often it’s only when a name is put to something that society is able to recognise it for what it is and begin to come to terms with it. These men are sincere and honest in their appreciation of transvestites, so they at least deserve a name to call themselves – not gay (wrong), not pervert (wrong and offensive), not tranny-chaser (vulgar), not admirer (too vague). But their very own name – one that tells us exactly who they are!
I next talked to Farrah Mills www.farrahmills.co.uk who was “attended” by an eclectic group of T-girls and guys. Farrah Mills I find is a 20s (something) transsexual actress, whose explicit movie credits include ‘Tooled Up Shemales’ and’ Wendy’s Wild Shemales #7′.
Farrah is a regular at The WayOut Club, so who better to offer male admirers some advice on approaching a T-girl?
Farrah tip 1)
- Treat her like a lady. “Nothing turns me off more than a guy who can’t be bothered to woo me. Just because I have a cock beneath my frock – one which gets hard just as fast as his does – a lot of guys think they don’t have to make any effort. Trannies won’t just jump into bed with you, no more than any real woman will, so make sure you do all the right things first. Send some flowers, buy some champagne and hold open the doors. Make a T-girl feel like a proper woman, and not just something exotic you’d like to shag!”
Farrah tip 2)
- Turn up looking good “The average T-girl will probably spend about five hours getting ready to go out. There’s all the cleaning, the shaving, the making up and dressing, the fiddling with suspender belts and the hours spent getting a wig on straight. There’s a huge amount of effort involved in turning a man into a beautiful woman, so it’s only right that you turn up properly groomed.At the very least have a shower and use some deodorant, otherwise why the hell should us T-girls bother?”
Farrah tip 3)
- Make the first move “For most trannies, club nights are the only time they ever go out in female clothes. “I live full-time as a woman, but I know I’m in the minority, so these nights are very important to the part-time girls, which makes it vital that you make them feel extra-special”. The girl shouldn’t have to do any of the chasing. It’s the man’s job to make a girl feel ultra-femme by making the initial eye contact, wandering over, offering her a drink and, most importantly, telling her just how fabulous and womanly she looks. And don’t be too upset – in fact be polite – if she gives you the brush off. It’s said that most cross dressers are heterosexual, so you might have to ask several girls for a dance before you get lucky!”
Farrah tip 4)
- Don’t expect too much “Even if your interest in trannies is purely sexual, then don’t assume all T-girls will behave the same way. Some might go all the way on the very first date, but others will prefer to take things slowly, and even then they might not do exactly what you’d like them to. I’ve always enjoyed anal sex, but I have several tranny friends who don’t, while I know other girls who hate anyone seeing their cock because it makes them feel unfeminine. So don’t expect every T-girl you meet just to drop her knickers and let you screw her arse and then suck her dick. Not all trannies are sex machines, although I think that’s what most men expect. They think the mind of a man in the body of a woman is a recipe for constant sex. Well, sometimes it is, but sometimes it isn’t…”
Farrah tip 5)
- Know where to go ‘Let’s be honest, the chance of you meeting the T-girl of your dreams while pushing a trolley down the aisle at Tesco is fairly remote. Very few trannies go out in daylight, so it pays to visit a London club like The WayOut Club. These places are always teeming with T-girls, all dressed up in their finery.