In Memory of Steffan Whitfield - Tributes by email since the memoriam
(yours would be most welcome)

Fraser - Steffan was one of those people that always made an impact on every life he touched. He had a natural presence that whatever room he would walk into, people would stop and take a look. When I first met him I was transfixed by his presence. A kind, loving and generous spirit, Steffan would always be the first to help a friend in any way he could. Knowing Steffan since 1985, I like to remember him not as a fellow performer but as; a travel partner with whom I travelled all over the world with, a flatmate whom I shared numerous apartments with; a confident whom I shared some of my most initmate and personal thoughts with and finally but most importantly a best friend whom I laughed and played with for over 20 years. Steffan will always hold a special place in my heart. He will be sorely missed but never forgotten.

Tribute from Demitri Warner - 30th June 2006 - Dear Vicky... I am so saddened to hear of Steffan's passing. Idon't think you and I ever meet but my name is Demitri Warner. I knew Steffan many years ago from the fabulous Madame Jo Jo's. I used to manage the Fallen Angel pub in Islington and hung out in the usual London scene...same as Steffan...my god! The times we had...LOL...at least what I remember...grinz. I was looking online for information on the old London scene and sadly found the memorial of his life.... and was more saddened that like so much in our lives we lose touch with, I lost touch with Steffan...but I never lost touch with the memories I had of him and our fun together.... As so many said.... he was truly a beautiful man and a beautiful woman. I hope to come back to London soon and would love to lay a rose on his resting place...( I live in the states now....long long story...). Again I am sorry to hear of his passing and hopefully you will email me back and let me know how things are going.... Please pass my condolences to his family and friends... All the best to you and the club.... sincerely Demitri Warner

Jenny Sands, Norway - Dear Vicky, It was with great sadness and chock I just learned of Steffan's death. Personally I didn't knew him very well, and I can't claim to be in his closer circle of friends. Still I feel a tremendous loss, Steffan was surely someone you will always remember for his radiant personality. Actually he seemed to remember me from the occasional times we met at WOC and HOD, over the years. He always took his time to chat and to make sure you felt welcome, and I think he had that effect on everyone. I admire him deeply for that, he was a living example of being present, caring and inclusive. Upon the very sad news I lit a candle in memory of Steffan, my thoughts went out to his family and friends, and my Friday night suddenly became a very solemn and contemplative one. I understand Steffan was all for living life to the fullest, and I will try to let this spirit for ever be part of my memory of him. Words cannot really describe my feelings. Rest in peace my friend. Jenny Sand, Norway Jenny & Steffan May 2004

Fabrice - Like many and many messages that you will received, it will be from people that you will not know. But last night I was out clubbing and read QX and read the article about Steffan's death. I am really sorry for your loss. I meet Steffan a very long time ago when he was doing some act in a pub/club Phoenix behind Oxford st. Because of Steffan's act and his presence, I went there every time he was there.Steffan introduced me to drag act and see someone doing the Madonna show was something. I eithen gave him a post card of Madonna once and I remember being very shy about it. Last night I was crying,and couldn't believe that Steffan died. This morning I had to get the pictures that I had from a Soho pride in 1993, there is a picture of me and Steffan. I am sorry for the loss and will not waste your time now as you have so many things to go thrue. I will be coming to your special night and give my support. I am really sorry. Thank you. Fabrice

Tara Starr - Like all of us (although I could not claim to know Stefan well) I was very sad to hear that she had died. I thought you spoke very nicely Vicky of your long time friend and I thought it was a beautiful tribute. I remember coming to London in the mid eighties and I first saw Stefan then. Though still beautiful up until the last time I saw her, many people would not know just how striking she was in those days... It is easy for many trannies (and admirers) to forget that were it not for you two, we would not have the WayOut Club, which is a wonderful establishment for us all. Anyway...I just wanted to send a few words of respect of my own.. Lots of Love Tara Starr xxxxx

Rikki - I first met Steffan in September 2000, the first time I went the WayOut Club, on what was to become the start of my journey out. She (I'm sorry I can't think of her as him) inspired me to start performing and although I discovered I am not cut out to be a professional Drag artist, she encouraged me and supported my performing at both the WayOut Club and the House of Drag - in fact everytime I went to the House of Drag she had me up doing something. It was at the launch of the of the House of Drag in December 2000 that I had a makeover from Jodie Lynn that resulted in a picture I used for the next year to ease my coming out process to friends and family. Steffan has touched the lives of so many girls over the years, and I for one will never ever forget her, or how much she has done without even realising it, to help me to have the courage to come out, face the world and be myself. Thank you Steffan - God speed darling - I will really miss you. Rikki xx

Alexis Divine - I had the very great pleasure of meeting Steffan together with his mum Bonnie at Royal Ascot a couple of year's ago and spend a truly great day that will live forever in my memory in her company, my tribute to Steffan is .. " Your guiding light will always shine like the supertrooper shone on you a star forever " , I have attached my fav pic taken with Steffan at the Wayout, your's in deepest sympathy Alexis Divine xxx

Danny Edwards - Hi Vicky I'm not sure if you will remember me but, I used to be 'Ms Teddi Bare' 100 years ago!, I was deeply saddened to hear of Stefan's passing and I wanted to send my love and thoughts to you all and his family. Danny Edwards aka 'Ms Teddi Bare' (actor friend) Stefan was always incredibly gracious and lovely to me, and we had many great chats and gossips about life and "showbiz" over the years. I last saw him when he was doing the show at Too Too much and we stood on Brewer street in hysterics , questioning how old we were and how quickly life was whizzing by, and why was everyone else so horribly young! He told me of his battle against cancer but I was so bowled over by his determination to enjoy life and just "get on with it. I first met Stefan years ago when he was Marilyn for a big party at The Limelight and at the time I was booked to photograph the evening. He arrived in a limo flanked by two handsome men, and I remember forgetting to actually take pictures for a second because I couldn't believe how beautiful and so like her he was. I wish I still had those photos. Then in my drag days at Madam Jo Jo,s he would float in and have a drink with me after the show. As The WayOut took off I used to come down regularly and while leaving in various states of disarray Stefan would give me a fantastic knowing look as I stumbled out in my heels, never judging, always smiling. I no longer do drag , but returned to my acting career, coupled now with a job as event manager for Soho clubs and Bars. Every time I saw Stefan , he would always congratulate me on my various successes over the years, and there was always a100% genuine interest and honesty in his support. I will miss him dearly, I shall treasure that memory (among many) of that exit from the limo and that pure unadulterated 100% star quality. Danny Edwards - Events Manager Soho Clubs and Bars

Lucy Hamilton - Dear Vicky, I am working in the USA this summer but have just heard the devastating news that Steffan has died. He was a wonderful person and such a glamorous star in the TG world. I send my sympathies to his family and friends. This photo was taken of us together at The House of Drag, which was a great midweek venue in London. I first met Steffan with you when you launched the WayOut Club in the West End about 20 years ago. with love Lucy

Simon and Grace - We remember with great fondness the warm welcome we were both given and that Steffan was always the most fabulous and gracious hostess. She would never have a bad word to say about anyone and always knew how to handle even the most precious of girls in the club!! Steffan to us was most memorable on the many birthdays that Grace celebrated in the WayOut club and how he made her feel like a million dollars, even when she did turn 40!!! He was an amazing person with so much warmth and genuine personality, that he will be very much missed, but not forgotten. "farewell my dear, farewell ....." Simon and Grace xxxx

Sophie - (a relative newcomer to the TG scene)
I only met Steffan 3 times but her warm welcome and her kindness has changed my life.

Bari Bacco - I am shocked to hear the news that Stephan has passed away. I first met him at a television studio in Wembley, on a programme hosted by Ester Ranzten, his personality ran before him, with exuberant style. Although a Marilyn Monroe impersonator, like her there was only one mould, and yet he was able to break Marilyns mould, taking the audience into a fantasy of seeing Marilyn re-incarnated. For a while I managed Stephan and the rest of the Way Out Spice Girls as they impersonated the Spice Girls, and along with him they were truly professional. His appearance in the Spice Girls movie is a tribute to his unique ability to take us beyond. I salute his glamour and style, a true showman - Stephan.
Lots of love Bari Bacco, Manager. The OFFICIAL UK DREAMBOYS.

Jeremy (aka Jezabel who worked with Steffan and Vicky Lee as 'The Vampettes) - Dear Vicky, I don't quite know what to say. I'm sitting here literally shaking with shock and deep sadness. This is all too strange, even stranger for you I'm sure. My heart goes out to you (and Lesley). I thought tonight I'd touch base with the website and see what you'd all been up to (as I regularly do).................and what news did I find! Totally shocked!!
I knew Steffan had been unwell, but thought he was on the mend. So this news is a total shock.... A week ago I sat in my living room after dinner with a girlfriend, showing her for the first time some of the pics of when I did drag. Obviously there were many pics of you and Steffan, each one of them significant in some way or another, encompassing a truly important part of my life, which I thank both of you for. A picture of Steffan and myself shopping outside Cartier in full glamour, has taken centre stage in my lounge for years. My time with you guys was possibly the best time I've had in my adult life. I appreciate everything Steffan did for me, personally and professionally, and know that I wouldn't have managed to do the things I did, perform at the places I did and have all the opportunities I had without him (of you). Even though I hadn't seen Steffan for nearly 2 years, I can't believe I won't ever see him again. Thank god for memories ... cause there are plenty of them to choose from ... and they were all fucking good!!!!! Steffan touched my life and I'll miss him. Lots of love Jez

From Callum Train - Dear Vicky, I was deeply moved to hear of Steffan's untimely shuffle and feel compelled to make contact with Yourself and his other friends. I feel all the more saddened by the fact that I have not seen Steffan for several years. I did maintain a contact of sorts with Steffan, Kenny and a few others with the odd text message every new year or so ("out of sight but not out of mind" was my usual simple hail) but then I lost touch a few years ago.
The cruel irony is that I re-established contact with Steffan in a brief exchange of text messages around the new year of 2005 and promised to visit soon as I expected to be frequenting London again towards the end of this year. My constant moving and changing of numbers since meant I lost touch again until last week; when I visited the website with the intention of re-establishing contact...the reality has taken a few days to sink in. My sincere condolences go out to those who knew and loved Steffan. I cherish some fond memories of quality times shared with Steffan, Kennan, Chris, Ray et al when I was fortunate enough to be a part of their social circle. Sir Francis Bacon's 1597 essay "Of Friendship" states: "A principal fruit of friendship is the care and discharge of the swelling of the heart which passions of all kinds do cause and induce." Steffan was a Curator of Principal Fruit. Love to All _________Calx

Raquel - Dear Vicky Lee - After seeing the sensitive tribute to Steffan in QX Magazine, I felt moved to do a drawing - a mixture of Steffan and Marilyn, the essence of them both, full of glamour, humour and sensitivity. I hope this helps at this difficult time. I shall keep my eye out for the website, and if you like to get in touch don't hesitate to contact me. And I look forward to visiting The WayOut Club soon. Kindest regards Raquel x x

Keith - Hi Vicky, The "Celebration of Steffan's life" charity benefit show on the 20th Aug exceeded my expectations. The quality of the performances blew me away. When I think that Steffan inspired those who participated and their willingness to be there for him, it tells me he must have been quite unique. The slide show revealed more about the raunchy lady. I'm hetero and I can say I fancied her in some of those shots. I particularly like the closing slide where she was wearing the cap low over one side of her face. Oooh la la. There is only one more thing left for me to say before I stop emailing. I just wish that someone your side of the fence in the 'Way Out' loop had taken the microphone before the night was out, to say something which I'm sure all us visitors must be thinking. You spoke of Steffan's strength in terms of his achievements and his fight with cancer. On behalf of all us kids in the playground we recognise your courage, tenacity, strength and support you gave Steffan and the 'Way Out Club'. You started it with him and have yourself proved you have the same qualities to inspire others and to carry it on as you have these past few weeks, in addition to the previous, what must have been an extremely difficult year. Wow! You deserve a medal (or at very least a bunch of flowers). Very simply we say, "THANK YOU". Keith x

Shiny n Anna - Dear Vicky, hope you dont mind me emailing you, i just had too, after logging into thewayoutclub website to read of the loss of an Amazing person, Steffan touched our hearts, and gave us strength, We are a couple from Swindon, My name is Shiny and my gorgeous partner is Anna, Im a fem and Anna a TV. Over the past year or so we have loved coming up to London and having the freedom to go out together in a place where we feel safe to be ourselves in the company of so many fantastic people, We had never experienced such a atmosphere, to feel we were excepted as a couple, all the fantastic friends we have made! I have come over and hassled yourself and Steffan a few times!, in my thigh boots n leopard print bikini!! Every time you have been so lovely you both always took time out to make others feel special, Something really magical about being at WayOut! Steffans beauty and strength will live on forever, she touched so many peoples lives ,and gave them the strength to live their lives to the full, WE will never turn back, You really have both given us so much, Anna is now Anna and proud! she my babe, gorgeous and free to express herself when before she just questioned herself, If she would only stop stealing my rubber n pvc!!... good job she has size nine feet is all i can say. I hope you don't mind me emailing you just had to let u know how much you have touched our lives. you really are someone very special. All our love Shiny n Anna xxxxxxxxxxx

Dee Chanelle and Penny Richards - Dear Vicky A tribute to Steffan from Dee Chanelle and Penny Richards For us Steffan was certainly a candle of light, burning brightly, inspiring others, always vivacious and animated. We worked very hard with Steffan for over a year to promote our monthly TS gathering- "MUSE" at The House of Drag in Green Street Mayfair where Steffan promoted every Wednesday night. Penny and I always remember Steffan would appear out of nowhere, ready to go. We often wondered if Steffan stayed in the cupboard near the dressing area and only came out on Wednesday nights!! She certainly knew how to attract attention from the crowd. That was her gift. Rest in Peace Steffan.. Your legend lives on and will continue to inspire all of us. Dee Chanelle and Penny Richards

Toni Vain - Dear Vicky Lee, I was very sad indeed to hear that Steffan had died. His presence in The WayOut World and the scene generally will be sorely missed. I remember with fondness your and Steffan's invaluable assistance in introducing me to the London Tranny World at The WayOut Club in Goodge Street many years ago. Please pass my condolences on to all his family and close friends, and of course yourself at this sad time. His life was a celebration. He brought celebration to many others, and his memory will bring contued celebration. With love to you and the WayOut family from Toni Vain.

Sherri, Gina, Tamsin & Sara - Dear Vicky, Debs kept us in touch with events. Steffan will be sadly missed but never forgotton in our hearts. Sherri, Gina, Tamsin & Sara.

Angel Zsa Tsar - Steffan, she hold a very special place in my heart. I hope that we find consolation in the love for her in other people. We need that to get over this untimely news. Sincerely Angel Zsa Tsar.

Chris Buckley (ex manager of Circa at Berkley Sq the first venue of The WayOt Club originaly on Thursdays)- Dearest Vicky, I was very saddened to read of the passing of Steffan. He was a great person who brought colour and flow to everything he did! I remember meeting him 20 years ago and being in awe of his personality. I think at the time he was in Splash and they were playing a gay night at the London Hippodrome Disco. Several years later I met him again with you, I was then the manager of Circa Bar when The WayOut Club came to the bar in Berkeley Square (at that time on Thursdays). All my thoughts are with Steffans family and friends and especially you. Take good care and god bless. Chris Buckley xx

Bex - I am truely sorry. All my love. No-one could ever forget Steffan. Bex xxx

Nikki - My Tribute to Steffan
I first met Steffan in July 1997. I arrived at The WayOut Club nervous, I bought a drink and sat down, then this beautiful woman came over and said "Hi How are You", I said "Oh Fine". I later found out it was Steffan, he always greeted new people to the Club. He made an effort to do that, no matter how busy he was sorting out the Club. He also took an interest in what people were wearing. I wanted a Stevie Nicks costume made and he gave me tips on what I should have made and what material to use. Vicky told him about my desire to have this made and he took time to come and take me aside to see Sarah to discuss this. Steffan really cared that his customers were happy and felt good about their appearance. He would come up to me often and comment that he like my clothes and that made me feel good. Steffan was a great Entertainer and this is probably the most important aspect of him for me. For instance when The Wayout Club was baseed in Tiffanys, Steffan put a Madonna show on. He surprised everyone, it was not the usual "Like a Virgin" routine, he had done a spot on replica of the current single "Frozen". I was leaving the Club early that night and I was transfixed on the stairs that led to the exit watching this show, it was amazing. In conversation with Steffan I told him I was a mad fan of Olivia Newton John. I told him that everyone seems to do the Grease Routines, he made no comment. Little did I know he was planning a new show featuring Olivia. The next week at the Club I was having a drink and he came up to me and said "I have a surprise for you" and walked away. Anwyway when show time came, the opening bars of Xanadu burst out of the speakers, God it was great, Steffan skated over to me and as the lyrics go "A Shooting Star" he placed his wand on my head. That is how Cool, Steffan was, he catered for all his punters tastes, he was willing to include items in his shows to suit people's personal tastes, he was awesome that night. Another thing about Steffan was this, he was a strong and virtuous man. He ejected a group of thugs from the Club who were ridiculing a group of trannies, he needed no bouncers. He was there with Vicky to defend people and protect them. I wrote another article for WayOut in 1998 on "People who have influenced you" and yes Steffan was there included, he knew all about these women I admired, he told me stuff I never knew as well. One of Steffan's idols was Monroe. Like all loved icons he died young. For me he is amoung the Greats, Monroe, James Dean, Bolan, a true Entertainer and a nice guy who was not out of reach like many Entertainers. Steffan was there among his fans. At least I can say I knew Steffan, I had that honour and it was a Great Honour. Nikki